I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering. -Robert Frost
I saw this phrase the other day and immediately said,
how true!
I get an idea for a poem, or a message I’d like for it to portray, but it writes itself through the rhyming words I choose.
Many times, I will write a stanza, and look for a rhyming word for the next stanza, can’t find one, go to the thesaurus, find a similar word to end the first stanza with, then go look for a rhyme for it for the second stanza and repeat those steps, sometimes rewriting the entire first stanza until it works out.
I go through that for each stanza of the paragraph until I get to the end of the thought and usually, the last few words that end the poem, end up being the title of the poem because those are the most important words of the message I am trying to portray.
Poetry is like playing a word game that when it is done, tells a story. Unlike crossword puzzles that fill in the spots, word searches that find all the words and scrabble that uses the pieces provided, a poem has an unlimited number of pieces, a word bank a million miles long, and a blank slate that you can do anything with!
I love writing poems. I love the fun bouncy rhythm.
I love how it all works out in the end and I love sharing those poems with anyone who will read them.
Poems are fun!
If you like poems too, check out my new poetry book: A Rhyme for Everything
Kathleen, I have hesitated contacting you for a long time, but this has entered my mind for several months. In one if your articles you wrote about your parents divorce but it wasn’t until much later that you understood why. Well, my granddaughter, L, who sent you her story about the ——, is going through a tough time. Her parents were divorced about six weeks ago. L and I, her grandmother, are very close. Often, when she ask me questions about the situation I am at a loss for words. I wonder if you could shed some light or give me words of advice since you have experienced this. L says she knows she is too young to completely understand. She us 10 yrs. old in the 4th grade. This child is precious to me. Thank you for your time. GiGi.
That is very heart breaking to hear. Divorce is definitely one of the hardest things a child can go through, especially if, in my case, the parents’ separation is not amicable. I was put in the middle of horrible fights and used as a pawn many times, being sacrificed regularly. I pray that L’s parents have had the foresight to put their emotions aside while around L and to enforce the fact that this is not her fault and she is still loved by both parents very much.
She is very smart. She is two years older than I was, so I have a feeling that she will be okay. What she needs is for both of her parents to find time for her and love her and that neither of them blame the other. If that happens, you may need to be there for her to explain the emotions of anger and that it in no way reflects their feelings towards her but is something her parents must work through on their own. Divorce almost never reverts to reconciliation so if L is hoping her parents will get back together again, as most children do, maybe you could instead have her pray for a simpler task from God, that her parents become friends. Friends can still smile and the disappointment of unanswered prayers won’t be as big. And if things do work out, it will be a happy surprise.
L also seems very strong willed so encourage her to ask questions and express her feelings. If she asks a question you don’t know the answer to, respond truthfully, you don’t know but you will find out. Make sure she knows that her job is being a child. Her only responsibility is school and chores, learning and doing the best job she can. While she may feel the need to do something to help her parents, she should primarily focus on her own work. Adult situations need to be handled by adults, no matter how childish they may be acting, (hopefully they are not). And it is more than normal for Lainey to be experiencing emotions of guilt, sadness, anger and resentment. If she is experiencing these emotions she needs to talk about them – or in my case, write about them.
In fact, this is the moment in life when writing can really help the most. While fun creativity is not as easily accessed during times of trouble, writing is not always about happy fun. Escaping into an alternate reality where she can be happy or sad or angry can help her emotions escape in a way that is less destructive than say, throwing something. If her writing turns dark, encourage her to share it with you and talk about it. Never shy away from her writing, even if it scares you. If it scares you, imagine what she is feeling and encourage her to talk about it. If her writings escape into a pretty magical place and becomes incredibly unrealistic, again realize she is avoiding the situation and this is her way in dealing with the situation.
My Kaitlyn Jones character made me strong. I was able to defend myself and others, had some really cool powers but I also had a lot of obstacles and bad guys to defeat. I had a rainbow of emotions to work through, I was very angry, just wanted to be normal and liked the feeling of power. That trilogy was a bunch of short stories written throughout the course of my youth and later discovered to be a series. Kaitlyn Jones was my alter ego that helped me through so many difficult times. While I wasn’t Kaitlyn Jones at all – and I look back at those stories and wonder who that person was – it did help me. L may benefit from a character that can empower her, help her work through her emotions and discover who she is.
Most of my stories came from my dreams which were, at that time, quite disturbing. Since dreams are your minds way of working through the realities of your day, and are in many cases, completely different that real life situations, they make great starting points for her to write upon. Have her write down her dreams and then embellish upon them. The way she deals with the unrealistic situations of her dreams can tell a lot about a person’s emotional status. If she is trying to be tough and control the situation or if she is shying away and hiding from the situation you will be able to pick this up from her writings. The most important thing though is to not overly analyze her writings, send her to a counselor because of her writings or make her feel like she is doing or feeling something wrong. This is an opportunity for her to work through her emotions, write about various situations, find the resolutions she needs to and then come back with a better understanding later on.
I am not a counselor. This is what I can, as an adult, look back at and determine from. L may be very different. Personally, if she looks like she wants to talk about it but is too shy to ask, don’t say how are you holding up, or do you want to talk about the divorce, assess the situation and then be friend-like. I really miss your dad helping with this or your mom seems to be very busy these days. Get her talking openly about the situation without it seeming like an imposition. And if she seems okay and doesn’t want to talk about it, that is fine as well. If she can smile, then that is a good thing, it is not denial.
I hope this helps and will continue to pray for L and her family. She is very lucky she has someone in her life to ask this question and want to be there to help. When you feel like you have no one to talk to, it can feel very lonely and in turn, turn you into a shy isolated person. Write me again sometime if you want.