Last year I wrote a funny poem/story for a company Christmas card. While it was sent to all of their clients, I felt it was fun enough to share with everyone else this year. Disclaimer: There is talk of alcoholic beverages. May not be appropriate for children.

‘Twas the evening ‘fore Christmas and all was asleep
Except for the Big Man and his reindeer peep.
They were blasting through snow clouds, delivering gifts
When Rudolph began sneezing and throwing some fits.

They jerked to the right. Then to the left.
The sled was all jostled and cracked from the heft.
Suddenly the magic that made the sleigh go,
Began pouring from the backside in a sparkly flow.

Directing the reindeer towards the first empty field
He landed that sleigh, hopped out a kneeled.
He took in the damage when the reindeer moaned,
All knew this Christmas would be postponed!

Santa was pacing, bleak and upset.
He was shivering cold and his feet were all wet.
Giving up was not him, but the sled wouldn’t fly,
‘Twas no way the reindeer could get back in the sky!

Since Santa was hungry and wanted some grub,
He was in Ireland, so he strolled to the pub.
He ordered hot cocoa with a jigger of Schnapps,
When a Leprechaun, began busting his chops.

“What ye be doin’ on this Christmas Eve night?
Sitting here drinking when things aren’t right.
You’re supposed to be delivering gifts to the world.”
Santa lowered his head and his eyebrows furled.

He explained what had happened. The Leprechaun smiled.
He patted dear Santa like a sweet little child.
He said “Follow me, I’ll get ya back on yer way.
I’ve got the magic to fix up yer sleigh.

Santa hopped from his bar stool and the two went outside,
But when they found the reindeer, Santa cried.
They were sprawled on the ground, and each one grinned,
Cause every reindeer outside was three sheets to the wind!

“Now what will I do?” Santa exclaimed,
“This one’s my fault.” He sadly proclaimed.
The sleigh is all busted, the reindeer are drunk…
Santa felt horrid, his dashes were sunk.

The Leprechaun knew he could fix Santa’s sleigh
but the reindeer not flying caused HIM some dismay.
Yet as a typical Leprechaun, true to his name,
He pondered the problem like a puzzling game.

When the light bulb went off, he danced him a jig.
Santa was worried when he looked at his rig.
This Leprechaun, he thought, was as sly as a fox,
His sleigh held together by tiny shamrocks.

The sleigh would be fine but the one who would pull it?
Was a scrawny young chap that moved like a bullet.
He stood at one end, strapped the reigns to his hip,
Then started to pull with a hop and a skip.

And to Santa’s amazement and wide-opened eyes,
They advanced down the field and into the skies!
A twinkling eye, he knew all’d be right,
As the sleigh on a rainbow soared ‘cross the blue night.

And I heard them exclaim as they flew towards the coast,
“Oh hey, I brought Guinness.” And “Let’s have a toast!”

Kathleen J. Shields – December 2018

If you liked that poem, you may like some of my other poetry. Get your own copy of “A Rhyme for Everything” my new poetry book on Amazon today!

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