You don’t have to be a natural conversationalist if you are a charming listener.

You don’t have to be a natural conversationalist if you are a charming listener.  This is such a rare gift that it trumps many other social graces.  Your deep wells of empathy will help you develop this skill.

This was another horoscope of mine…
someone must be watching me because this is so me to a tee!

I have been told I am a very good listener and I KNOW I’m empathic. I can feel what other people feel, (I feel your pain – true statement).  This makes me fully able to comprehend both sides of a story and empathize enough that I can usually find a way to help both parties meet in the middle… depending on how stubborn they are.

But enough about me, what do I think this is; a blog about Kathleen? Oh yeah, it is – well anyways, that first line could be said about any of you!

Listen & Learn

You don’t have to be a natural conversationalist
if you are a charming listener.

People love to talk about themselves.  Have you noticed that?  I’ve had to reel myself back in many times when someone asked me about a story.  Oh I could spend hours… days, in deep discussions about my stories and I would thrive doing so – but what author wouldn’t?  That is the reason we write – to tell a story – to share it with others – and if the stars align and our reader has enough foresight to consider it, they may just SAY something to us giving us the chance to learn that our story isn’t just sitting in cyberspace collecting virtual dust.

I would give anything to have an in-depth conversation about any of my stories, but I have learned that people don’t necessarily want to talk about you – they want to talk about themselves (something they can relate to).  So I listen.

I’ve listened to people when they needed to ‘vent’ about something and when they are through they look at me, and smile, and say, “Wow, that really helped. Thank you.”  What did I do? I listened. I empathized. And I proved to them just what kind of a friend I can be.

If you too are a charming listener, actually setting out some of your time for someone else, it’s amazing what you can do for someone. And you know what? They won’t forget it – the next time you want to talk.windy

The Other Side of the Coin:

If you are anything like I used to be… getting in front of crowds, talking, expressing my opinions and thoughts, verbally – used to be a phobia!  Not anymore.

I can’t really tell you what happened (unless I realized I actually DID have something to say) but that is HOW I became such a good listener… because I was afraid to talk.

Either way, whether you want to talk or not, listen.

It makes all the difference in the world!

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1 Comment

  1. Sylvia Griffin's Gravatar Sylvia Griffin
    September 13, 2013    

    II hope I’m a charming listener, or at least an attentive listener! The world needs more listeners who will truly listen! I love you, Kathleen. Always, Sylvia G.

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